Guilty Pleasures

Do you ever feel guilty about being really happy or excited about something? That's kind of what I'm going through right now.

Recently I made a decision that is going to DRASTICALLY change my life. The thing of it is: I'm not 100% ready to share all the details yet. So I'm working towards this goal that only a handful of people know about (try 3 people!). The issue really is: Those who are close to me and don't know my goal, well they keep trying to make plans for my future.

Plans I just won't be able to see through if I'm able to do this one thing I want to do.

I feel so guilty about this! I mean, my mom was recently talking about eventually, when I buy a house... Well the problem with that is, my goal really won't allow this. But I can't tell her that. Because then I have to go and explain everything.

And I'm not ready for that.

And she's also really excited about helping me plan that day and I don't want to take that away from her yet.

I've made some mistakes in my life. Choices which will make achieving my goal *that much more* difficult. But there's hope. The people who do know about what I'm trying to do and what I'm working towards, well they are really encouraging. In order to pursue this dream, I have to be healthier. I have to be in better shape. Have to.

So I'm working out more now. I'm setting all these little goals for myself. And I'm actually achieving them! Like: I wanted to run a 5K in less than 48 minutes (that would be a little less than a 16minute mile). Well I think I did it in like 46:46. Goal met.

Then there was the goal of running a 15 minute mile. Well that too has been accomplished. 

And then today I did something I honestly didn't think I would get to for another 3 weeks or so. I wanted to be able to run 1.5 miles in 16 minutes flat. Today I ran it in 15:45. I actually beat my previous best time by an incredible 30 whole seconds! It made my day! I also managed to wake up at 6am and be at the gym by 6:30 which I haven't been able to force myself to do yet. Two milestones in a single day! WOW!

Now comes the part I'm really dreading. I have to lose some SERIOUS WEIGHT. I think it's in the ball park of 15-20 pounds. I don't know how long I have to lose it, but we'll say 4 weeks. 6 maybe? Working out is getting me in shape and I feel amazing, but the weight's not dropping like I really need it to. So I'm going to breakdown and implement the "diet" portion of the recommended "diet and exercise" shpiel. Ugh.

Food is such a weakness of mine. I get these serious cravings for something and it's usually just because that "something" isn't in the house. How do you re-train your brain to recognize that you really aren't hungry; you're just bored. Or: you don't really want that Grilled Cheese from Steak N Shake; you just want something that isn't here. 

So those are my issues right now:

1) How do you prepare yourself mentally for a major life shift when you can't share your concerns with those around you?

2) What should be my next FEASIBLE and MEASUREABLE goal physically?

3) How do you lose weight in a healthy way without feeling depressed because you're eating boiled chicken and rice again?!?!? Ugh. 

Don't get "fat." Stay active. It's so much easier to stay active than to get active. So much easier to maintain your weight than to lose it. :-/

G'night guys!