Thankful

I know we are closing in on the end of November and every one has been doing those Daily Devotional things where every day they write what they are thankful for. I know it may seem a little late to be starting this, but I purposefully avoided writing one of these for that very reason: EVERY ONE was doing one EVERY DAY! And then, if they happened to miss one, they would feel guilty and end up writing a "I'm Thankful For..." for all the days they had missed. Clogging up my facebook with all the same thing. So here I am, at the end of the month, writing one really long set of things I am thankful for.

**My pup, Jax. He is by far the best friend I have. He lets me know every day that there is enough love in this world to share with everyone at any time. There's no reason to shy away from showing someone you care about them. Love wholly and completely and deliberately.

**My sisters. I know I don't always get along with them. Sometimes I think I have nothing in common with them. But I don't have to. I am their big sister. My job will always be to protect them, even if it's from themselves. I am willing to be the bad guy so they can stay safe. Even when they say things I don't want to hear or don't need to hear, when they do things I don't like; my job is to be there for them and I am thankful I am still able to have that job.

**My parents and other family members. I consider them separate from my sisters because my role as a sister is different than any other role I have with any other family member. Either way, I am thankful for my family. They are crazy and wild and opinionated. They never do things that make much sense to others, but they are LOYAL! My mom's side is very extreme. They love to the extreme, they hate to the extreme. They don't care about how much money you bring to the table, but they do care about how much love you bring to it. If you aren't willing to be there for them, they can and will wash their hands of you. My dad's side is more conservative. They are strong-willed. They remind me of those 1950s shows in how they approach things. I am thankful to have both examples by which to lead my life.

**My job. I am thankful to have one when so many today do not. I hear it all the time: Why don't you get a job with your degree? The thing is, I am doing something now that I am good at. I didn't know I was good at this type of work and I would not have known I was good at something other than the things I had been told I was good at. It can be difficult to work in an mostly female environment with all the typical "girl issues." But the fact is, I have a job. I am able to pay my bills every month without too much stress.

**My ability to read. Aside from the fact there are people who can't read, I am thankful I am able to enjoy great works of literary art. Reading is how I spend my free time. It allows me to escape from the sad times or the bad times. I can go back to eras and stories anytime I want.

**My car. It offers me a limited independence as well as an ability to get to and from work.

**My past. I will NOT say there are things I don't regret, because there are. I totally have events and decisions I wish I could change. I would. But, since I can't, I am thankful for all the opportunities I have been given. For the people in my life whom I have allowed to shape my life. For the times I have spent laughing and crying because those are moments I can never get back. I will stand proud and true to the person I was, even if I am no longer that person.

**My future. It is undecided. I am the only person who can dictate what happens, where I go, what I will do. Only me. I am thankful that I have the ability to have a future.

**My health. I generally do not get sick. I think it's, in part, because I do not take meds. I don't allow myself to be sick. I don't want to be sick. I know a lot of people who go looking for reasons to be sick. They want those pills which they think will make their lives better. I want a life made better by living and by acting.

**Inner strength. It wavers: Ebbs and flows like the ocean. But it's there when I need it. There are things I won't bow down to, no matter what. There are things I won't do without, even when I have almost nothing. I have been single for longer than I would like. I could easily have made due with just anyone. I could have accepted the love they gave, but it wouldn't have been enough because it wouldn't have been everything. And I deserve that. I deserve someone who thinks I am worth everything. And, when it comes down to it, I know my inner strength is the reason I haven't accepted Mr. Right-Now and waited for Mr. Right.

**God. I have a relationship with Him that is filling. I feel no need to go out and promote this relationship. I stand by Him and He by me. I try to live a life He can be proud of since it is Him who gave it to me. "God gave us beaches, because He liked the way the sand felt running through our fingers." What I mean is, He *wants* us to go out and live our lives because then He gets to experience it too. Even though I am thankful for God and all He's given me, I do not stand behind a denomination anymore. I see no reason to prescribe to one way of thinking. I am thankful for ALL religions which honor life and kindness. I look for the good in all religions and aspire to emulate them to my fullest. Not *THE* fullest, but *MY* fullest. I don't think any one group has it right. I think there are things to be taken from each; when we are able to find the common thread, we find God. In every name, in every form, He is there.

**Simple joys. Without them, it's not worth the struggle of working every day, of fighting with those you love. You can pay your bills and never get anything in return. Or you can find the simple things every day which make you even a little bit more happy than when you encountered them. I am thankful for those silver linings.

**True friends. They may be last on my list here, but they all know they are important. I have always tried my best to be the type of friend to others I would wish or expect them to be towards me. I know it may not be fair, but I want friends in my life who respect me and strive to be the best friend to me they can. Friends and family are the first to hurt you because you have let them in the closest. It's not always their fault when they have hurt you, but the fact that you let them in is something to be thankful for. I am now working on allowing only those worthy of my friendship to be close. It's not me being conceited when I say this. I just mean that I don't want any more people coming in and using or abusing me because I have called them my friend. I value them and want the same in return. I am thankful I have found and continue to find people worth spending my time.

Okay. There is my List of Thanks. See, now was there really any reason to post something every day for 30 days??? Nope!! I got everything down in one sitting. :)