Short and Simple

Tonight I was reading a friend's blog and realized that she writes in it almost every day...and I don't. When I started this blog, I don't think I had any pre-conceived notions that I would become a "habitual" writer or that I would suddenly want to write every thought I have down on the internet. No, I think I knew I would only write down the thoughts I couldn't stop thinking or just *REALLY NEEDED* to get off my chest. I went back through and read all my previous blogs. They immediately brought me back to the night I wrote them or the event I was talking about. It was nice to go to those places again with the benefit of "20/20 hindsight." I also realized just how much my life and I have changed.

I am still on the dating site. I actually went on a real date for the first time in YEARS right before Halloween. It was awkward, of course. I mean, one of the reasons I had asked my sisters and friends to introduce me to people is so I would be able to talk to them about the person and get honest opinions. Online you have to rely on what you read. Plus, I mean, first dates in general are usually a little uncomfortable when you don't really know the person. Let's be honest. lol That date doesn't seem to be going any further which is a bit of a shame, but I'm not going to give up or get down on myself. I knew I wasn't going to meet "Mr. Right" in the first week on the site. I do wish things were going a little better though.

Have you ever looked at your friends and been like: HOW did we end up here? I have a friend--the same friend I dog-sat for--and I just can't believe the turns our relationship have taken. More so lately than before. She likes to say she's not a "clubber" or a "partier" but she is always wanting to go out somewhere. I really can't afford to be her friend anymore--in a financial sense particularly! She makes more money than I do and the places she suggests are "NICE" places; places I cannot afford and feel weird being at in general. She doesn't seem to understand this though and it's making it difficult to stay friends with her. Our personalities are so different. That used to make it fun to hang out but now it just makes it irritating.

What do you do when you are working towards becoming someone you can be proud of and there are people you no longer see as beneficial to your growth? I have the hardest time breaking away from people and breaking out of relationships. It took me almost 4 years to sever all ties with someone I knew-almost from the beginning-was not a good person for my self-esteem. I kept letting them be a part of my life. Intellectually I knew the phrase: "Here for a reason, a season, a lifetime;" emotionally though I can't seem to part ways with people. I always feel guilty because I remember the things they did for me when I wasn't strong enough, or reflect on the fun times I had with them and think: There can be more fun times if I just let there be more. It's not always that simple though.

Any advice on this last one?