Dear Jane

Dear Ms. Austen,

It has been a pleasure knowing you. For it is through knowing you that I have found myself. Your presence in my life has been something of a mythical gift, one in which I will forever feel inadequate of receiving while still grateful.

When you write, I feel as though you have taken me and my personal experiences, and placed them in your current situation. How you were able to see through the dung that is your current residence in life--that of a "lowly" female, forced into subservience by man--and create your own environment I will never know. The power of your words to transcend time and rank, bringing men to their knees at the feet of their loves and strength to women who otherwise see themselves as helpless... That is a blessing and a responsibility. One you have shouldered simply and effectively.

You are probably best known for Pride and Prejudice. I have to admit, that was my first introduction to you. It was because of an AP Lit class my senior year of high school that I will forever know and respect you. The BBC version of Pride & Prejudice was undoubtedly my favorite movie of all times for many years. I didn't read the book for another few years, but when I did, I found the truth and integrity had been translated well to the "big screen." While perusing the aisles--searching for fulfillment over mindless gaggles--I discovered what would be my doppelganger: your story Persuasions. This book and movie emulate almost exactly my life to this point. After reading the book and seeing the movie, I feel a kinship with them stronger than most physical relationships I have had throughout my life.

I am Anne Elliott. I am the person "everyone speaks well of, but no one remembers to talk to" (a quote from Sense & Sensibility that fits suitably). I am meticulous of my actions as they relate to those I care about, those with whom I surround myself. I make conscientious efforts to ensure those around me know what they mean to me. I also always want to be sure of the comfort of those I care about. 

I am in love with Wentworth. He is the man by which I judge all others. He is proud, strong, determined, athletic, solid...these are both assets and obstacles, depending on the situation. I want so much to love someone so completely, as Anne and Frederick do towards each other, while still being strong and true to myself. I want no one to hurt me, but am willing to open my heart to those deserving. I am cautious and candid, much like Wentworth.

The words I write, I write to free my soul from the entrapment, the prison I create when I withhold the truth even from myself. I have no preconception that my words will influence others, just as I am sure you did not as you crafted the stories in your head to the paper. You wrote to disentangle the fiction from the fantasy--the fiction being the works of literary art, and the fantasy being the lie of a life you were living; as though anyone of your caliber and talent should be confined to dependence on the kindness of male relatives. Your superiority in all things literary is juxtaposed against the harsh reality that you may never be fully and deservedly appreciated. No one, though, can take away the lives we live within in confines of our own imagination. I think you for showing me that nothing--not time, not culture, not the whims and expectations of others--can or should deter me from the creative life I wish to live.

My goal is to be a wife and mother. Being as you were neither, nor showed much inclination towards either, it may seem odd to say you are the example by which I strive to live my life. You are my role model, my "life muse," my divergent path. You are the light by which I guide my actions. You have influenced me and I am eternally grateful.