UGH!! I had the *WORST* first date ever last night. Yes, it was so bad I had to immediately get on here and blog about it. I hope this post does 2 things. 1) It helps me just vent it out and move on. I thinking if I keep dwelling on it inside, then I will stay dwelling on it--vicious cycle. Maybe, once it's out there (or maybe more like once it's on here) I will be done with it and move on. 2? Well maybe those of you who read this-guy and girl-will take something away. Learn from my mistakes--and my date's!
Okay, so I went all out for this date. Highlights, mani, cute outfit. Yeah. Seriously, I know!! Ugh, wasted. Good thing I needed all these anyways, otherwise I might not be as gracious about that. Not even ONE COMPLIMENT!! Seriously guys...throw a girl a "Nice shirt" something. Let her know that you think she's at least passable if not "drop at her feet" attractive. I'm sure every girl spends time getting ready. Let her know you appreciate the effort. Ugh.
Oh, and when you are having a conversation with someone, don't make them utterly uncomfortable. Don't stare them down like Gibbs in the interrogation room. It's not fun to try and have a conversation when they stare at you, never once blinking, even as he takes a drink of his water. I understand that first, second, even third dates are when you are trying to get to know the other person. But really, it's like facing the Spanish Inquisition!!
When the check comes is probably not the best time to say: "I only have a debit card." I never thought I was one of those "Guys pay on the first date." Turns out: I am. I mean, yeah, I understand it's the 21st Century, but I'm willing to bet you didn't just drop $$ on getting ready. From the looks of the clothes he donned, he's owned those things since his college days, maybe even his high school days!! So yeah, I'm more "Southern" or "old-fashioned" than I thought. Guys: pick up the tab on a dinner and a movie. Don't make it awkward. Because if you are willing to shell out the $50, we're more willing to go on a 2nd date. It shows you aren't a tight-fisted jackwad. Just sayin'.
Oh and doors. Yes, you opened up the restaurant door. Good job. That car door is still a door you should open for her. Again, with the appreciation.
Finally: Don't go telling me ANYONE in your family is a pacifist. Being as my mom, my dad, my Uncle Bill, Uncle Tom, Uncle Punkin, AND Uncle Sam ALL SERVED....that shite just won't fly. Maybe I need a military man myself. Someone who will understand my background and I can appreciate their present and future.
I'm from the south. I might live in the north, but I will ALWAYS be a Southern girl. I want the ultimate southern gent. I want a strong man with gentle hands. I want a man who will shoulder my burdens and will trust me to shoulder theirs. I want a guy who will protect me but not smother me. I'm really beginning to think those guys exist only in the movies or the south. Neither of which are available to me right now.
I had a similar experience, not only did he not pay but being as I was a bit nervous, I had hardly eaten, so in turn he threw out the "are you going to eat that" card! I was in hysterics about my composorily changed attitude towards men. Southern hospitality and roots never rang my bell harder, I know now too that I expect a certain level of not only being a gentleman but, RESPECT. Afterall YOU (being them) asked me on the date, I am sharing my precious free time with you and you can darn well expect me to hold you to a higher standard than the guy at the table next to us who is slighty preoccupied with trying to see if whether or not I'm wearing a bra under my dress!
ReplyDelete