Family frustrations

I love my family. Really and truly. But it seems like they are the first people to really piss me off! There are things about them I just don't get!

For instance, I have a sister who is negative about everyone. The first thing out of her mouth when you start talking about someone *WILL* be negative. She might follow it up with something nice--if she actually does like the person--but usually it's just a mean comment. Even to me. Sometimes it's veiled but it's always there in her comments.
She likes her things a certain way; I tend to be more conservative, more sedate if you will. So she'll say something about how I'd look better or "happier" if I took the time to ... (fill in whatever it is she thinks I'm missing). Sad thing is, most days I really like how I look. I'm not *GORGEOUS* by any stretch of the imagination, but I have tried very hard to become content in myself. I'm 5' 2" and "curvy" (though I do wish I were a little leaner or more muscular) I wear contacts most of the time, but sometimes they bother me and I have to wear my glasses. My hair can really only be styled 2 ways: Stick straight or a messy bun straight from the shower. Now add in my new braces (only 6 more months!!!) and you can tell why I might be a little self-conscious when someone tells me I could look better if...

Then I have my other sister. She's just soo loud all the time!! People love her though. She's not confrontational so people usually don't know when they've upset her; and, let's be honest, people don't usually want to know when they've upset you. It's because she's so loud people like her, I think. So sometimes that makes me worried; like, maybe if I were louder or more outgoing, people might like me more. But I'm just not. So I try not to dwell on the fact that I will never be the life of the party or the person others rely on for a uproariously funny joke.

The more I think about it, the more I realize I am nothing like my sisters. They are very loud people; I am not. They like attention; I think they both wanted to be actresses or something at one point in their lives because they are always the center of attention. I actually don't like having that much attention on me from a lot of people. It makes me very uncomfortable. I would much rather have a simple conversation with 1, 2, no more than 3 people. More than that and I feel like I'm not giving each person enough attention to make them feel appreciated. They are always fashionable and I'm usually worried people will realize my outfit probably came from Target. They are so sure about themselves they are confident they will get the next job they apply for. Since I left the field I actually went to school for, I am always worried people are going to look at me as a failure.

All that being said: I do love them. They are the people who have known me the longest and can most quickly point out when I am not being true to myself. Granted, they aren't always right about who the true me is, but they are always there, nonetheless.